Confessions of a Bread Head: 5 Signs You’re Obsessed
It starts innocently. You just want to bake one loaf.
Fast forward six months and you're buying flour in 25kg bags, you've named your starter Yeasther, and you've turned down a weekend away because of a feeding schedule.
If you relate to any of the following, congratulations. You're one of us.
1. Your camera roll is 90% crumb shots
You might not remember your anniversary, but you can state the hydration percentage of a loaf you baked last Tuesday, along with the ambient kitchen temperature that day.
If you're going to have the data anyway, you may as well write it somewhere useful — a baking journal turns those scattered memories into something you can actually learn from. Most bakers can't say why one loaf worked and the next didn't, purely because nobody writes it down.
2. You own more baking clothes than regular clothes
Why wear anything else when you can wear something that announces your relationship with fermentation to everyone in the supermarket?
If your wardrobe is quietly filling with hoodies and sweatshirts that are technically for baking but somehow get worn every day, you're deep in it. The Certified Bread Head hoodie exists specifically for this stage.
3. You plan your weekend around folds
"Sorry, I can't do lunch, I've got a stretch-and-fold at 12:30."
If you have said this sentence out loud to another adult, you've crossed a line and there's no going back. Sourdough Mom and Sourdough Dad are, at this point, simply accurate.
4. You get genuinely offended by supermarket bread
It tastes like air and disappointment, and you've said so at a dinner party while someone was eating it.
5. You've considered taking your starter on holiday
We won't judge. But if you do leave it at home, give your sitter proper written instructions — and consider bribing them. A gift card costs less than the emotional cost of coming home to a dead starter.
6. It has a name, and you use it in conversation
Not to us. To other people. Out loud. Who then have to work out whether you're talking about a pet, a child, or a jar.
Every serious baker eventually does this, and everyone else eventually stops finding it strange. The Proud Starter Parent apron is for people at this precise stage.
Common questions
Why do sourdough bakers name their starters?
Because a starter is genuinely alive, needs feeding on a schedule, and behaves differently day to day. Naming it is a shorthand for a relationship that already exists — you can hardly say "the wild yeast culture was sluggish this morning" every time.
Is it normal to plan your week around baking?
Among people who bake sourdough regularly, completely. Bulk fermentation and proofing run on their own timetable and won't negotiate, so the baker moves rather than the dough.
What should I do with my starter when I go away?
Feed it, let it rest a few hours, then refrigerate — it will hold for a couple of weeks. For longer trips, leave written instructions with someone, or dry a portion as a backup.
You aren't just baking bread; you're part of a fairly large and slightly unhinged global community. Wear the badge. Shop the full ZomaModa range or read our 2026 gift guide.